This was written on 14 June 2013.
In an alley in Bisbee, there’s a coffee stand, a woman who
sells hand-painted silk scarves, and a metalsmith who sells the most amazing
jewelry of precious metals and stones. This is Peddler’s Alley. Seth runs the
coffee stand, giving out free espressos and selling bags of coffee beans. June
sells her scarves. Autumn is the metalsmith. Trez, the hotel manager from
across the street, likes to hang out and drink coffee in the alley. When the
guests are all settled in for the night, she joins us for a beer or some of
Seth’s whiskey. Sometimes Belle and Patty come over from the cafe next to the
hotel. The Honey Man, Reed – he makes our local honey – comes to get some free
espresso from Seth and chat with the rest of the alley. I’m there, too, but I’m
not usually a productive member of our little alley-family. Sometimes I do
oracle readings, which are like tarot readings but less complicated, for
whoever wants one. That’s my contribution.
Today, we had dinner together. The cafe was getting ready to
close for the day. It had been a slow day, so they had an entire quiche left
over. Seth bought the quiche and a pitcher of ice tea. Belle, Seth, and I
handed out the ice teas in the alley. Patty heated up the quiche and brought it
across the street to the alley. I cut and served the quiche, while Patty and
Belle went back to clean up the cafe.
The conversation went like this –
June: Cut small pieces, Katy. We just ate a bunch of this
(gesturing to a lidded pot).
Katy: Sure thing.
Seth: Oh you need – (reaches for a roll of paper towels) –
something to put that on.
Katy: Nope, Patty brought us wax paper.
Seth (not hearing, handing over a paper towel): Here –
Katy: No need hon, I got this covered. (Winks.)
June: Yeah Seth, she’s got this covered.
Katy (to Seth): Thank you sweetheart. You’re awesome. (Takes
the offered paper towel; passes the first piece of quiche to June.)
June: No, give that to her. (Pointing to a tourist who was
looking forlornly at the nearby, but closed, restaurant.)
Katy (to the tourist): Would you like some quiche?
Tourist: Oh, no thanks, we have to eat dinner in an hour,
so...
Katy: (Shrugs.) Ok, your loss. Here Trez, this is for you.
(Handing quiche slice to Trez.)
Random local person who happened to stop by right then:
Haha!
Trez: Thanks!
Reed: Hey, lemme try some of that quiche. That looks good...
Oh man, that’s rich. Who made that?
Katy: Patty.
Reed: That’s delicious. I have to take home some of that for
the old lady. Can I take some home?
Seth: Sure – that’s what it’s there for.
Customers came and went; some joined our conversations, some
shrugged us off. Most of them got espresso from Seth.
Trez: Maybe that’s my guests – (runs across the street, just
ahead of a couple tourists carrying luggage; she disappears into the hotel).
(June nods sagely.)
Seth: I’m thinking about going to upstate New York .
Katy: Really? What part?
Seth: Upstate.
Katy: Where in upstate? I’m from there.
Seth: Finger Lakes .
Katy: I’m from the Finger Lakes !
Where are you going?
Seth: Lake
Chitaqua . My dad turned
me on to it. There’s this place he goes in the summer, and he lives for it.
Katy: Cool! It’s so beautiful there, especially in the
summer.
Seth: I might do an event there.
Katy: Need a helper?
Seth: Maybe –
Katy: Ooo, pick me!
Seth: Yeah!
Katy: So when are we going?
Seth: This summer. I don’t know.
Katy: Well, I have til the end of July.
Seth: Sweet, that’s my time frame.
Katy: So what’s going on at Lake Chitaqua ?
Seth told me the story, then, of how he and his father came
to terms with each other, just a few years ago. He didn’t like his dad much,
growing up, he said, and he moved out quite young. After he moved out, he’d
call his dad once in a while, but hated doing so because the conversations were
never pleasant. They didn’t argue, or anything like that, but his dad was
something of a hypochondriac and would tell Seth that, someday, Seth would have
the same health complications he believed himself to be plagued by. Seth felt
his dad was trying to bequeath those illnesses to him, and he found himself reluctant
to call his dad. He’s say, “Hi Dad, how are you?” Then he’d kick himself for
asking, because he dad would respond with a listing of medical misfortunes.
Seth: And I never wanted to go home unless I could do it on
my own terms. I pay for everything. If I want to go somewhere with him – last
year, I wanted to go to Santa Fe .
I called my dad and said, “hey, let’s go to Santa Fe . I’ll send you a plane ticket, you
just get on the plane and meet me there. I’ll rent a car at the airport.” And I
did. I flew us both in to Albuquerque , rented a
car there, and drove us to Santa Fe .
And it was great. But I never wanted to make him provide the vacation. I
provide the vacation. He just comes along. I like it that way.
A few years ago, his dad called him. While they spoke, Seth
realized that the neediness usually so present in his dad’s voice was – gone.
His dad told him about going to this retreat at Lake Chitaqua ,
and how it was a life-changing event. Seth’s dad learned, at the retreat, that
in all his life, he had never learned to say “I love you.” Further, he learned
that all his life, he had been going to doctors when he needed to feel cared
for. Seth’s dad said, “my biggest regret, is that I didn’t do this sooner in my
life,” and he wanted very much to share the experience with Seth. After some
resistance, Seth agreed to go spend a week with his dad at the retreat at Lake Chitaqua .
He stayed an extra week; when it was time to leave, he let his dad go and
booked the extra week for himself. This year, he wants to go back.
Seth described the retreat location: hundreds of acres of
gated land where no cars were allowed. People would drop off their luggage,
then park their cars by the entrance for the week – or weeks – they were
staying. They’d walk everywhere – around the lake, to the opera, the theater,
the symphony, the lectures. Speakers come from all over the world for the
once-in-a-lifetime chance to speak at Lake Chitaqua ,
and there is a different theme every week. The second week Seth stayed there,
the theme was National Geographic: Oceans. They would talk about science all
morning, and theology all afternoon, then go to the opera in the evening.
I wondered what the theme was the week Seth’s dad discovered
how to say “I love you,” but I didn’t ask. He was telling his story and we were
sipping Irish whiskey from his flask. It wasn’t a good time to get
interrogative.
At the end of the evening, Autumn has packed up and gone to
dinner with her husband, Logan, who came to visit toward the end of the day.
June has gone, too, with her rainbow of scarves, and Nicole and Kirsten have
parted ways. I tell Seth about the paper I have to write, and how I’m not sure
that I’ll be able to, since I’m not around many families at the moment.
Then Kirsten stopped by to see Seth; she and I introduced
ourselves to each other. The three of us talked about road trips and
motorcycles and cars. Seth pondered how he would drive to New York . Not a direct trip, he said – he
wanted to be in each place. He wanted
to enjoy every stop on the journey, to have lunch with people who knew his
coffee. He has at least 200 customers in every state. Every place he goes, if
he gives enough warning, he can meet someone who drinks his coffee and have
lunch with them. He wants to meet as many people as he can. He loves people, he
says with a smile, and people love coffee. I think he’s right.
Nicole stops by next. I’ve never met her before, either, but
she’s familiar, like we’ve seen each other somewhere, somehow. It’s a small
town; that’s not surprising. Nicole is full of life, a flower about to burst in
a pink velvet dress and brown boots. Nicole and Kirsten talk animatedly about Santa Cruz and Nicole’s latest gig, managing the creation
of an art installation at the MOCA, the Museum
of Contemporary Art , in Tucson . Her friend Chico had asked her to be
part of the team. The piece her team created is called “Chrysalis,” and she
talked about all the changes in her life and how the project was so appropriate
for this period of her life. She talked about being the only woman, in charge
of a group of men, and how that made her want to “do fist pumps every day.” She
felt like the butterfly emergent and powerful.
On a whim, I decided to do an oracle reading for Seth. While
he entertained customers and Nicole and Kirsten caught up with each other, I
shuffled and drew my oracle cards. When the customers departed, I nodded Seth
over to my cards and explained the reading to him. The reading helped him make
a decision: he’s going on a road trip this summer, north to Colorado ,
then east to New York .
He’s going to sell his coffee at Lake
Chitaqua . I’m so proud of
him.
Then I notice, for the first time, the beautiful stained
glass windows on the second floor of the building across the street. I mention
it to Seth. He agrees. We stare at the glass for a moment, slightly inebriated
and almost out of whiskey.
"I feel like I'm going to cry," he says.
I ask, "Good cry or bad cry?"
"Good cry."
"Oh, good then."
"I can just feel it. You know, life is so beautiful.
It's like how old people's eyes always have that sheen of wetness. Their eyes
have seen so much, and it's all there, all that beauty, and there's so much
that they're about to burst. They've seen so much beauty. The tears are always
just about to fall because life is so beautiful. It's like that."
"That's going in my paper," I say.
"That's cool. It should," he replies.