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27 February 2012

organic equality

My relationship with Archer has reached clarification, mostly organically, over this past weekend. It's funny how sometimes things just happen at exactly the right time, especially when we know those things couldn't have possibly happened if we had planned them.

Maybe it's obvious, but I love Archer more deeply and wholly than I have words to describe. In my mind, knowing that to be fact made it obvious that my relationship with him is, hierarchically, what the polyamory world would describe as my primary relationship. Of course it wasn't obvious to anybody else, including Archer, because I hadn't said anything about it. I hadn't even articulated that to myself. In hindsight, I know that had the situation actually called for a decision, I would have supported Archer before all others. In my thoughts, though, I shied away from making that clear. It was as if my sense of fairness was in overdrive, making the unequal appear equal, to the detriment of both. It's better, and actually  more fair, to allow things to take their natural precedence; my relationship with Fae is not less good by being a lower priority than my relationship with Archer. The difference does not demean either, but calling them the same diminishes both.

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