21 June 2012
enchantments echo, entangling everything
Yep, it's my E post for the Pagan Blog Project. Just a little late. And short-ish.
I don't do spells.
Oh, you guessed it! - I'm not a witch; I'm pagan who doesn't "do magic."
I pray, sometimes. My prayers are expressions of gratitude, or questions by which I hope to better understand my circumstances, to ease my path in difficult times. I don't pray for less difficulty; I pray for insight, to see me through.
Once, when I was fifteen, I asked the gods to make me wise person when I grew up.
That was a mistake.
My prayer was answered; maybe it's still being answered.
Wisdom, it seems, is not given, but rather it is earned through trials.
There's a reason I don't do spells. One prayer, with impeccable intentions, for something that seems like the best possible cause, resulted (arguably) in more trials in my young life than were probably warranted.
What if I had prayed for something that affected someone else? What if that prayer had been heard, and granted? I know that I cannot foresee all things; some inevitable results are beyond my vision.
I differentiate between prayers and spells in the expectations resultant from each. When one casts a spell, there is an expectation that it will work. Something will change in a material way. In a sense, a spell could be seen as a demand placed upon the world. It smacks of egoism, in my mind - that's another reason I won't cast spells. Who am I, to think that I know all the implications that might come from my intentions? Who am I, to say how the world must be? Prayers, on the other hand, are requests, caveated by the understanding that they might not be granted.
Still, I will never again pray for wisdom. Lesson learned. Irony accepted.