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12 April 2013

e is for emotional controls

Here's the thing: if you can't stow your emotional shit when it crops up at a bad time, who's in control - you or your emotions? "But Bones, my emotions are part of me!" Well duh. No fucking shit. Steering wheels are parts of cars, too, but we wouldn't mistake the part for the whole in that situation, now would we? Hell no. Your emotions do not fucking define you; they are not your entire identity, no matter how often they get mistaken as such or how free it makes you feel to belief it. Yeah, we all do this to a degree, some more than others. It's part of growing up, of being an adult, to figure out that you have to be in control of your emotions. All this "express yourself" shit gets a little too hyped up with some people. If some action makes you angry, that reaction isn't your entire identity, it's just one fucking reaction and it may or may not be valid. That's another thing: just because your emotions exist, doesn't mean they're right. You don't "have a right to be angry" just because you perceive some slight by another person. First, figure out if they even realized they slighted you, or even if you were actually slighted at all. And if they happen to be, oh, I don't know, in the middle of working on something that is delicate and/or dangerous, then fucking hold your goddamn tongue until both parties can actually fucking participate in the conversation. Fuck!

Perhaps some background is in order. The rant isn't entirely out of my system, but it's ebbing. Thanks for listening (or skipping the first paragraph, that's cool too).

I frequently have people comment in amazement on how "patient" I am, how "hard" it is to make me angry. It's not really that hard, actually. I'm not really that patient. But, I learned pretty damn early that emotional outbursts of any sort almost never  make problems go away. Usually things just get worse, which is something I prefer to avoid. And most stuff is too trivial to go through all the effort of being angry.

If an outburst does happen - nobody has perfect control, least of all me - I've found that it's best to regain some sanity before entering into any heavy decision-making processes or arguments, or... etc. As far as I know, that's a general guideline that applies to most people, not just me.

So as difficult as it is to do, I avoid getting irrational when I'm upset. And if I do get irrational, I shut the hell up until I can think coherently again. Not to brag, but: it's a grown up thing.

Why are so many people so damned invested  in being angry? People dump a TON of energy down that hole, for the silliest things. Of course it never seems silly to the angry person, but whatever it is had better be pretty damned important, if you ask me. Which you didn't, but I'm telling you anyway. So there.

This blog post is brought to you by the Pagan Blog Project, the letter E, and by recent events that shall remain unnamed - but it's been on the burner for a long, long time.


  1. Anonymous10:52

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  2. Well, please tell it how it is Ms Eala. :)

    I will have to agree with you too....being angry is no way to live, but it is also part of living. Knowing when and how to express your discontent is the best lesson ANYONE could ever learn.

    1. Haha! I love you Brandi!