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25 January 2012

blood draw

I just got my blood drawn.

I didn't panic. I didn't feel frightened. I didn't feel like I needed to be held by someone close when it was over.

My heart rate stayed normal. I didn't get lightheaded. I didn't feel like crying.

I was calm, collected, self-possessed.

is monumental.

I still hate the feeling of the needle going in, the squeeze of the rubber band on my arm, and the odd ache of blood leaving my artery. But this time, it was ok. It was those uncomfortable sensations, without the fear that has always accompanied getting my blood drawn.

I can't help thinking that the timing of this change, unexpected as it is, cannot be coincidental.

It was my choice to allow them to take my blood. I didn't have to allow it.

Maybe I really am becoming

Maybe sometimes saying "yes" is just as empowering as saying "no."

1 comment:

  1. Sometimes "yes" is definitely an empowering choice. I started out saying yes to everyone and everything. Guilt? Obligation? Destiny? All of those reasons. Not usually because I wanted to say yes. I learned to empower myself by saying no and I am now empowered to say yes WHEN I WANT TO and no when I don't. A precarious balance sometimes.