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31 January 2012

sexual ethics

My sexuality may have become unbound but is fundamentally unchanged; my sexual ethics have changed completely in the binding.

Essentially, my sexual ethics exist now. They were previously unexamined, visceral, in-the-moment things which didn't really qualify as something so organized or intentional as ethics. They could have been roughly extrapolated from my behaviors, insofar as that's possible (which is not terribly far), but those findings would have been as unreliable as my behavior.

So, what are the values that define my sexual ethics?

Foremost, fidelity. - Which is different from monogamy. Fidelity describes loyalty, which encompasses honesty, forthrightness, and the keeping of promises. Fidelity also describes upholding one's honor, and their lovers' honor. None of these things require monogamy. In fact they become more important as you stray farther along the non-monogamy path. Fidelity is a broad descriptor; it is the basis of my ethics regardless of relationship type, now. Everything stems from that root.

I wish I had always been so guided [but if wishes were horses... I would ride].

My lover has proven the value of fidelity to me, and I will never again settle for a lesser lover.

This all sounds less than genuine, but I read it back and can't seem to re-word it in a way that works. Maybe I need to be more specific...

My values, my sexual and romantic ethics, demand this behavior:

*Conducting myself as an 'unavailable' person, in thought and deed.

*Being forthright with my lover, in everything.

*Keeping my promises, explicit and implicit.

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