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30 August 2012

r is for reality: a statement of being

My spirituality is my reality.

This is not a phase, or an act of rebellion.

This is not a game or something I chose to profess belief in for the sake of politics.

This is not a hobby I practice in my spare time.

This is integral to my thoughts, behaviors, and choices, every moment, every day.

My worldview is what it is, not because I liked this view best, but because this is the reality I perceive, whether I like it or not.


I'm tired of hearing people tell others that their reality isn't real. It's not just pagans, though I addressed the above statement to the disparagement many pagans hear when their spiritual path becomes known. I doubt there's a box we put each other in that isn't questioned. Any identifier is fair game; I've heard everything from the spiritual to the mundane, from the sexual to the political, and even medical.

These are all actual examples:
(Except the italicized parts. Those happened in my head. 
Well, some of them were out loud, but not all of them.)

"You're not really depressed. You look fine to me."
(Oh really? Who died and made you my psychiatrist?)

[To a transman friend of mine] "What's your real name?"
(*Masculine name* IS his real name; why does his  birth name matter to you? When women in the US get married and take their husband's last name, is their new name fake? It's not their birth name, after all... oh, but you don't like that analogy.)

"Oh you're an artist? That's cool. Are you thinking about getting a real job someday?"
(...No, I prefer my soul intact, thanks.)

"Are you still in that gay phase?"
(Are you still in that ignorant phase?)

"You don't look like a real lesbian."
(Sorry, I guess I forgot to wear my label today, asshole.)

"He's not a real black man."
(Um, what's a fake black man look like? 
I promise you, he does NOT look like a Ken doll under those jeans.)

All of the above piss me off. Perhaps that was obvious?
But to keep things on topic, I'll stick to this one for today:

"Did you become a witch to piss of your parents like the rest of those goth kids? Haven't you outgrown that rebellion phase yet?"

Yeah, someone actually said that to me. It was a long time ago, but I still hear those familiar strains spoken around me, though not usually to me anymore (I find myself less inclined to hang around assholes long enough for them to speak). Haven't we had enough yet? So what if my reality doesn't match yours? Are you so miserable in your world that you require my company?

Well fuck you, I'm not drinking your kool-aid.


It seems appropriate to repost this:

Project Pagan Enough

I'm a huge fan/supporter of this cause; it's a reality I'm willing to try to share.

(Link on my side bar, and in the original post.)


And just for fun:

That made me laugh.


  1. "Real job"?? Nooooooo, don't do it; don't believe da hype!!! :-) And what's all this "gay phase" nonsense; you're the very MODEL of white heteronormativity!!! :-D

    1. ...says my girlfriend :P