Coming soon: a new web address for this blog!

[[[At the end of November I'll be migrating this blog to a new address, which will be:]]]

29 June 2013

"Mamaaaaaaaa!" - Bear

So the plan was that my little Bear would spend the bulk of the summer with his dad, after spending a couple weeks with my mom. Here's how things have gone down thus far: I went to Iowa with Bear and we stayed at Grandma's together for about a week and a half. Then I came home. Bear spent another two weeks with Grandma, then flew from Grandma's house to his dad's house on 14 July.

He was going to stay at his dad's house until late July. Well Bear has decided doesn't want to stay there that long. Instead of coming home at the end of July, he's now coming home on July 3rd. Surprise!

I'm both happy that I'll see him again sooner, and totally unprepared for him to get home that early.

I also felt, when I received the news, that I shouldn't really be that surprised - but I was. I knew Bear had expressed the desire to come home early, but that was while he was visiting Grandma. Bear and Grandma can be a little bit oil-and-water-ish sometimes. I figured that once he got to his dad's house, he'd have a great time and not want to come home - even at the end of July. That's what has happened in the past.

Past, shmast.

[Side note - my spell check doesn't like "ish" but thinks "shmast" is cool. I'm pretty sure "shmast" is not a real word. You fail, spellchecker.]

This year, things is Different. Bear misses me. That surprised me. When I spoke to Archer about it, he said this (which is probably more of a paraphrase than a quote), "It's not surprising. You're that boy's whole world. He loves you so deeply. With everything he goes through, you're the only one in his life who understands him. Of course he misses you."

I've never seen that before, and I said so to Archer.

He responded, "You don't see it because you're so used to thinking of yourself as not being a natural mother, as being bad at mothering, but you're a very loving person. Once you started digging yourself out of that hole of depression, that came out. When you were depressed before, you were cut off, but since you started coming out of that, you have become a great mother to Bear. He knows that you're there for him. You're doing great. Just cut yourself some slack."

When Archer and I first met, a little over two years ago, I was just beginning to realize that I had  chronic (Major) depression, and I had no idea how to manage it. I was cut off from everyone, including Bear. Gradually, I began to see that and figured out how to correct it. And I've found ways to help Bear deal with his ADHD and anxiety - he's doing better than ever, and he's not even on meds anymore. He's finally thriving, and so am I.

Thank you Archer, I see it now. As always, you help me find the point to my story light years faster than I ever would have found it on my own. You're my hero.

(I shouldn't, but I can't resist: Thanks, Captain Save-a-Ho! Hahahaaaa!)
[The above is in reference to Archer's penchant for saving damsels in distress such as myself. It's probably a tasteless joke. I have a terrible sense of humor.]

No comments:

Post a Comment