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30 June 2013

DIY life

I'd forgotten how much fun it is to do woodworking. The heat of sandpaper against smoothing wood, the smell of raw wood coming out from underneath the old varnish, the sawdust coating I'm gradually acquiring... *happy sigh*

This feels good.

It makes me want to start the rest of the project ideas I've been tossing around.

There's a way of living in a more hands-on manner than we tend to do in developed countries like this one, that is probably very good for the soul. Not good in the sense that, if you have no choice then doing things yourself will spiritually sustain you. No, they might sustain you physically, but that's not what I'm getting at here.

Let me try this from another tack - when my depression is at its worst, the best thing for me to do is the do something. Anything, really. Visit friends, go for a walk, paint - that one's really great for me - all these things help. It gets my body moving despite my own protests; it forces my mind to focus on something other than my own shortcomings. But I can't hang out at my friends' houses every single day. They'd get sick of me, my dogs would miss me, and Bear will be home soon, too, so I'll need to be here for him. I can go for walks, but that's a timed event - can't do that all day, every day, either. I can't even paint every single day; I have to do something different or my mind gets bored and goes back to being depressed. That's why I get into so many different types of crafts (book making, jewelry making, rune crafting, etc). Sometimes, I just need something new. Or, something that has been in the background so long that it feels new, like wood working.

Anyway, I'm rambling. My point is (I think) that I find working with my hands to be spiritually sustaining, no matter what type of work I'm doing, and maybe that's something I need to work into my regularly scheduled activities.

I haven't really had a schedule since Bear's been with his dad. He's usually the reason I keep one. I've made a couple feeble attempts at scheduling myself for regular stuff (i.e., getting chores done on a schedule, rather than when I notice they need to be done, or remembering to take my meds in the mornings, or planning to do certain tasks). This past week I scrapped the whole schedule idea. I felt like I'd go crazy if I tried to get myself to do anything on any sort of schedule unless it was actually necessary. But then again, I spent that whole week pretty much in the bottom of a vicious bout of depression. So, not a good example.

Yep, that's me rambling again. As I was saying - this DIY stuff feels pretty good. And when I think about it, the people who do more DIY stuff seem less stressed in general... maybe I should study that. I wonder if Lowes or Home Depot would fund that study? Hmmm...

(ADD, much?)

Whew, I can't focus for crap today.

Point: I'm gonna do a little crafting/DIY every day that I can fit it in. Cuz it'll feel good.

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